[It's all a tangled web, the music, the love, the passion, the pain, where one ends, and the other began blurred a long time ago. The music drew him; the love binds him, the passion and the pain rule him like the moon does the tides. It's a turbulent sea, a force that crashes intensely only once in a lifetime.
No matter the pain it causes, how does he walk away from that. How, when any other touch, any other lover can satisfy, but they can not arouse him this way. By merely inviting him to touch, calling him to a bathroom to lift him from a shower and yet he wants, craves Ugetsu more than if another had elaborately made ploys to arouse it.
It takes no more than a look, the way his hair falls in his eyes, his fingers draw the bow when he plays, and Kaji wants him, he wants to take that sound, claim it. More than that, he wants to save Ugetsu from himself, bind him to Kaji so that he can not let go of this world so quickly.
Even if he left, could he ever truly be gone. Would Ugetsu not be able to find a way to draw him back, has there ever been a time where it was not that way. Push him away, pull him back, find another lover, sleep in another bed. Yet always, therein in his bones is Ugetsu; he can taste him in every lover he takes. None compare, it leaves him wanting till these moments.
It is that exact thing that keeps him here, the absurdly tender touch, the violent fights, the passion, he can not let go of any of it, even as he knows much of it is his doom. Is it worth it, when Ugetsu is with him this way, yes, every second. Even if it all ended today, it would be worth it.
Because he knows somewhere inside of there is a part of Kaji that will forever be Ugetsu's. He does not want Kaji to tell him he loves him; he does not want him to need him as he does, and yet he can not stand the thought of Kaji any longer feeling that way, and he knows it. There are times he is like this, and he uses it, reminds him with a calloused finger that swipes to claim hip bone. A soft release of breath as touches from Ugetsu arouse him, arching up to remove his shirt in a swift move.
It's all too much and never enough at the same time, he wants it to end, he wants it to continue. He wants to go, he wants to stay but even if he goes, it never truly ends because if Ugetsu were to continue to self-destruct, Kaji would have to return to him, he is too engrained in who he is now ever indeed to turn away if he is in need.
For now, he indulges as long as Ugetsu will allow him, lowering himself back to those touches, finding the sensitive spots along Ugetsu's bare skin with those large hands, so careful with the delicate beauty beneath their touch, it's as if he is adoring Ugetsu through his skin.
At the same time, he dips his head, finding the soft pulse in Ugetsu's throat he closes his teeth over it, dragging along the skin before trailing his tongue over it, a tease, a taste, a touch, a slow build-up of the intensity that has always been their norm.
For others, love may be weightless; for them, it is crushing, devouring, and it comes across in the way they systematically break each other down, only to build up again and lose themselves in that soul-shattering passion that they can only find with each other.
As if he could lose Aki that easily~ /making more icons for this
No matter the pain it causes, how does he walk away from that. How, when any other touch, any other lover can satisfy, but they can not arouse him this way. By merely inviting him to touch, calling him to a bathroom to lift him from a shower and yet he wants, craves Ugetsu more than if another had elaborately made ploys to arouse it.
It takes no more than a look, the way his hair falls in his eyes, his fingers draw the bow when he plays, and Kaji wants him, he wants to take that sound, claim it. More than that, he wants to save Ugetsu from himself, bind him to Kaji so that he can not let go of this world so quickly.
Even if he left, could he ever truly be gone. Would Ugetsu not be able to find a way to draw him back, has there ever been a time where it was not that way. Push him away, pull him back, find another lover, sleep in another bed. Yet always, therein in his bones is Ugetsu; he can taste him in every lover he takes. None compare, it leaves him wanting till these moments.
It is that exact thing that keeps him here, the absurdly tender touch, the violent fights, the passion, he can not let go of any of it, even as he knows much of it is his doom. Is it worth it, when Ugetsu is with him this way, yes, every second. Even if it all ended today, it would be worth it.
Because he knows somewhere inside of there is a part of Kaji that will forever be Ugetsu's. He does not want Kaji to tell him he loves him; he does not want him to need him as he does, and yet he can not stand the thought of Kaji any longer feeling that way, and he knows it. There are times he is like this, and he uses it, reminds him with a calloused finger that swipes to claim hip bone. A soft release of breath as touches from Ugetsu arouse him, arching up to remove his shirt in a swift move.
It's all too much and never enough at the same time, he wants it to end, he wants it to continue. He wants to go, he wants to stay but even if he goes, it never truly ends because if Ugetsu were to continue to self-destruct, Kaji would have to return to him, he is too engrained in who he is now ever indeed to turn away if he is in need.
For now, he indulges as long as Ugetsu will allow him, lowering himself back to those touches, finding the sensitive spots along Ugetsu's bare skin with those large hands, so careful with the delicate beauty beneath their touch, it's as if he is adoring Ugetsu through his skin.
At the same time, he dips his head, finding the soft pulse in Ugetsu's throat he closes his teeth over it, dragging along the skin before trailing his tongue over it, a tease, a taste, a touch, a slow build-up of the intensity that has always been their norm.
For others, love may be weightless; for them, it is crushing, devouring, and it comes across in the way they systematically break each other down, only to build up again and lose themselves in that soul-shattering passion that they can only find with each other.