[ ugetsu's laugh is a dangerous thing. he rarely laughs the way normal people do; instead, it's only when he feels particularly cruel, or vindictive, or scorned. he laughs when he shouldn't. yuki likes that about him, most of the time. it sets him apart from all the boring people that make up the world around them. when ugetsu laughs yuki doesn't know if he's going to be kissed or slapped; the surprise is, always, exciting.
but right now? yuki hates it.
it doesn't take much for the pain to show through, ugetsu's usual mask full of cracks and holes that expose just how badly he's been injured. yuki knows that feeling well enough to recognize the tension in ugetsu's body, the way his breathing changes when he speaks. everything takes effort. the body, trying so hard to keep itself together, cannot function normally. yuki did not break any bones the night he tried to die but he knows what it is to sit in that hospital bed with his body crying out against him.
there are so, so many bandages.
ugetsu's laughter twists into something ugly and yuki wants to reach out, to clutch him close to his chest and hold tight no matter how hard ugetsu strikes him. the pain is never enough, never close to what yuki deserves, but in taking it he sometimes thinks he can make amends. thinks he can, maybe, help this lonely soul escape the oblivion that comes with a person like yuki.
he should never have given ugetsu drugs. he might not be addicted, not the way yuki is, but he knows it's wrong.
SHARES MY TISSUES WITH U ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚💖 also psst here's a song for them 😈
but right now? yuki hates it.
it doesn't take much for the pain to show through, ugetsu's usual mask full of cracks and holes that expose just how badly he's been injured. yuki knows that feeling well enough to recognize the tension in ugetsu's body, the way his breathing changes when he speaks. everything takes effort. the body, trying so hard to keep itself together, cannot function normally. yuki did not break any bones the night he tried to die but he knows what it is to sit in that hospital bed with his body crying out against him.
there are so, so many bandages.
ugetsu's laughter twists into something ugly and yuki wants to reach out, to clutch him close to his chest and hold tight no matter how hard ugetsu strikes him. the pain is never enough, never close to what yuki deserves, but in taking it he sometimes thinks he can make amends. thinks he can, maybe, help this lonely soul escape the oblivion that comes with a person like yuki.
he should never have given ugetsu drugs. he might not be addicted, not the way yuki is, but he knows it's wrong.
and yet. ]
Ugetsu --
[ ah, there's that cry again. i hate you. i love you. ]
[ yuki reaches out without thinking. his fingertips brush the side of ugetsu's temple, where they've cut his hair. his eyes are --
a wave of nausea overtakes him; his free hand grips the railing at the edge of the bed, fighting to stay upright.
why? ]
Stop it, [ he whispers, though whether it's to ugetsu or himself, he doesn't know. ]