rippingu: (pic#14241908)
Kaji Akihiko ([personal profile] rippingu) wrote in [personal profile] inexpressibly 2020-08-18 03:51 am (UTC)

that they are and I love them ...I am already thinking I need 300 150 is not going to be enough ><

[Some part of Akihiko had to know from the moment he put his arms around Ugetsu he would never truly possess him, he also knew that no matter where he went in life, what he did, he would never stop trying to. It's like the thinnest thread, but unbreakable, it is in the way it binds him to Ugetsu. Strings can be broken but not this one, this one threaded through him as he saw a young man play with a passion he never knew existed, watched him swim in emotions so crushingly deep it looked as if they would bury him under their weight.

It embedded, dug in when Akihiko put his arms around that young man when he let fingers pierce his skin because he could not resist, can not, in some ways does not want to resist trying to burn himself into Ugetsu, to drag him from that swirling abyss he seems to sink into and clutch him to himself. To use the turbulent rains of spring to douse the fire of Autumn and let Ugetsu bloom, but he did bloom, or he blossomed too soon, Akihiko does not know anymore.

All he knows is that he loves the burning autumn bloom, and he can never stop. Rather it brings his destruction; rather, it is his hell; the love consumes him, and more often than not, he is its willing victim. He does not want to find himself in the hands of another lover; he wants Ugetsu, unabashedly even those who have taken him to try and love him over these years have known it, he does not hide it.

Maybe this is why they are so turbulent, what would their lives have been if not for the intertwining of two impossible seasons, a thunderstorm of spring against a burning autumn fire, crashing, burning with no way to go back. Harder the hand says and harder he gives, leaving his marks now against the soft skin covering Ugetsu's body.

Everything about them is a contradiction at times, a plea for harder from rough fingertips in his hair, a loving touch as broad hands warm skin they have known a hundred times yet craves as he did that first time. Teeth that finally give, bleeding some of that resentment locked inside of him for the pain they have inflicted, bringing it to physical manifestation.

Each of them leaving their marks, if there is another lover in the next days, they will know the claim of mine always burned on Akihiko's heart now burned into his body in the shape of fingernails, his left on Ugetsu in the form of a bite meant to cause pain, meant to cause pleasure in the way only they can.

For Akihiko no one will ever compare, he will try, with the way they push and pull it will happen time and again but inevitably he believes he will be drawn back to a shadowed basement that holds memories of a sunlight practice room within its walls and his first love, the one his heart called to from the first meeting.

Rather, he is enough or not, only Ugetsu can stop him from trying to be, from moving lower, marking claims with teeth across collar bone, done to chest where a soft bud is caught, tugged, teased, loved but not with a gentle hand, it's with that passion that Akihiko once used to play the violin. If the song can not be theirs then he will lock Ugetsu in this dance as long as he can.]

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