[Since four p.m. is most of the day and he is currently spending his time just waiting. Because that is precisely it, he does not care about a present.
He just wants to spend time with Ugetsu; his parents did not even notice it's his birthday today, nothing new there.
He just wants to be with the one person who, even when he is mean, still cares, he wants to feel wanted, and only Ugetsu gives him that feeling.]
You can't miss me. It hasn't been that long. But sure.
[ not 'of course', and not 'obviously'. some time later, when they're 'not together', ugetsu will find it hard to remember this: how he let himself be...himself with akihiko, if only for a while. it will be hard to remember how he let himself be anxious instead of angry, hopeful instead of hateful, in love in love in love without end instead of the end the end the end. it will be hard.
today he thinks he knows already: that aki hasn't been remembered, and in a way that makes him feel powerful and he knows that makes him a bad person.
akihiko.
he's never wanted or allowed himself to want someone as much as the sound beneath his fingertips. ]
[Of course, Ugetsu can imagine the very smile that graces his face at the agreement. One day, these will be the knives that dig deepest because Akihiko will never be able to forget how it felt.
To be loved, to be wanted for the first time in his life. It's why, forever, there will be the mark of this very love on him. He knows it now and he will know it then, for now, he is basking in it.
Perhaps it makes Ugetsu a bad person feel powerful but in truth, he is a powerful force in this young man's life, he will remain one. Rather positive or negative, he is now and ever will be the gravitational pull in Akihiko's universe.]
/sends warm thoughts and gentle hopes your way that you are okay too!!! ;3;
[ ugetsu is: selfish, passionate, and more than likely missing a few screws or at least has a number of them quite loose.
ugetsu is also: in love. and when ugetsu is in love even his selfishness can be generous once every blue moon, or in this case, once every akihiko's birthday. so when aki makes it to the park at 4, there is the sound of the brahms that he first met aki beneath, and this one is more refined. neither of them has the ability to see the future, and all for the better perhaps; but ugetsu will never do anything like this again, for aki or anyone else, but the main importance is simply this: he did for aki.
he wants to be the only one for him and beneath his bravado and his sly smiles and teasing fingers, beneath the soft skin that so far only aki has seen and touched, there is a heart. it beats asynchronous to most other people, perhaps even to aki. but it understands time and it understands meter. it understands where the crescendo should be and also the fall. it understands even if it cannot say so.
this is what ugetsu's music, in its purest form, is truly for.
in the future ugetsu will come to know akihiko's weakness for him after a performance. at this stage, it's not as clear yet because when you're in love and not yet falling apart, everything feels like a weakness.
he doesn't open his eyes but he knows when aki is there somehow; he continues to play.
there is wine back at ugetsu's. there is a bracelet. but they both know: this is the real gift.
[Akihiko is far from stable, he feels too deeply, too raw, nothing held back. He is lonely, desperate for a hand to love him, a hand to touch him, even if at times it is less than gentle.
He knows the love he has found is selfish, but it is the light in a bleak world for him; with Ugetsu, the loneliness fades, music and sunshine are what mark his memories, what he will cling to in the years to come.
And Brahams, it will always be Brahams; when he arrives, he can hear it, his heart responds, his face, his soul is drawn to the sound. He knows it; it is the song that plays for him every day, every moment he has to be away from those fingers that can so delicately bring such beauty to life.
In this moment and for the rest of his life, he is sure, Ugetsu is the only one for him; there is no one he wants, no way he can imagine another holding his heart, not when it is held firmly in the other teenager’s hand.
This is all he could want, and as Ugetsu remains in the thrall of his music Aki is drawn in closer, inch by inch, till he is as close as he can get without interrupting the other’s performance.
Those eyes can not leave the other, can not see anything else, can hear nothing else, and there in his eyes when Ugestsu does at long last look at him will be his heart.
The ache echoes across the notes; Aki feels it in his veins, no matter that it hurts, he needs it, craves it, and only Ugetsu can give it.
His voice is one of love and awe when he utters softly.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the feeling is mutual all the way around!!!!!!
But I miss you, let me spend the night at least?
[Since four p.m. is most of the day and he is currently spending his time just waiting. Because that is precisely it, he does not care about a present.
He just wants to spend time with Ugetsu; his parents did not even notice it's his birthday today, nothing new there.
He just wants to be with the one person who, even when he is mean, still cares, he wants to feel wanted, and only Ugetsu gives him that feeling.]
<3 <3 <3
But sure.
[ not 'of course', and not 'obviously'. some time later, when they're 'not together', ugetsu will find it hard to remember this: how he let himself be...himself with akihiko, if only for a while. it will be hard to remember how he let himself be anxious instead of angry, hopeful instead of hateful, in love in love in love without end instead of the end the end the end. it will be hard.
today he thinks he knows already: that aki hasn't been remembered, and in a way that makes him feel powerful and he knows that makes him a bad person.
akihiko.
he's never wanted or allowed himself to want someone as much as the sound beneath his fingertips. ]
<3 <3 <3 I hope you are well
Good.
[Of course, Ugetsu can imagine the very smile that graces his face at the agreement. One day, these will be the knives that dig deepest because Akihiko will never be able to forget how it felt.
To be loved, to be wanted for the first time in his life. It's why, forever, there will be the mark of this very love on him. He knows it now and he will know it then, for now, he is basking in it.
Perhaps it makes Ugetsu a bad person feel powerful but in truth, he is a powerful force in this young man's life, he will remain one. Rather positive or negative, he is now and ever will be the gravitational pull in Akihiko's universe.]
/sends warm thoughts and gentle hopes your way that you are okay too!!! ;3;
ugetsu is also: in love. and when ugetsu is in love even his selfishness can be generous once every blue moon, or in this case, once every akihiko's birthday. so when aki makes it to the park at 4, there is the sound of the brahms that he first met aki beneath, and this one is more refined. neither of them has the ability to see the future, and all for the better perhaps; but ugetsu will never do anything like this again, for aki or anyone else, but the main importance is simply this: he did for aki.
he wants to be the only one for him and beneath his bravado and his sly smiles and teasing fingers, beneath the soft skin that so far only aki has seen and touched, there is a heart. it beats asynchronous to most other people, perhaps even to aki. but it understands time and it understands meter. it understands where the crescendo should be and also the fall. it understands even if it cannot say so.
this is what ugetsu's music, in its purest form, is truly for.
in the future ugetsu will come to know akihiko's weakness for him after a performance. at this stage, it's not as clear yet because when you're in love and not yet falling apart, everything feels like a weakness.
he doesn't open his eyes but he knows when aki is there somehow; he continues to play.
there is wine back at ugetsu's. there is a bracelet. but they both know: this is the real gift.
first love hurts. even now, ugetsu aches.
he's insatiable for it. ]
I am thank you!! <3<3<3<3<3
He knows the love he has found is selfish, but it is the light in a bleak world for him; with Ugetsu, the loneliness fades, music and sunshine are what mark his memories, what he will cling to in the years to come.
And Brahams, it will always be Brahams; when he arrives, he can hear it, his heart responds, his face, his soul is drawn to the sound. He knows it; it is the song that plays for him every day, every moment he has to be away from those fingers that can so delicately bring such beauty to life.
In this moment and for the rest of his life, he is sure, Ugetsu is the only one for him; there is no one he wants, no way he can imagine another holding his heart, not when it is held firmly in the other teenager’s hand.
This is all he could want, and as Ugetsu remains in the thrall of his music Aki is drawn in closer, inch by inch, till he is as close as he can get without interrupting the other’s performance.
Those eyes can not leave the other, can not see anything else, can hear nothing else, and there in his eyes when Ugestsu does at long last look at him will be his heart.
The ache echoes across the notes; Aki feels it in his veins, no matter that it hurts, he needs it, craves it, and only Ugetsu can give it.
His voice is one of love and awe when he utters softly.]
Beautiful.