[ they say 'don't fix it if it's not broken' about things that are good. and they say to fix it if it breaks. but no one has much of anything to say about things that have simply become weak points all over: here and here and here. everywhere. for aki, for ugetsu, whether they say it, whether they don't, theirs is the kind of touch that shatters even if every scattered piece has some love in it. broken is broken.
yet even that way, ugetsu wants it.
there is a place in him that no one else will ever touch. he's known it for years; he's known it all along.
he'll never say it of course.
instead he clings and claws into akihiko with his fingernails, with his kisses more teeth than anything else, with the persona of his own laughter that takes the place of more vulnerable things he will not permit. the number of people ugetsu has slept with is not insignificant but none of them are aki and so they always end up here. he knows it won't be the same for his first and maybe last love. there is already someone else in the periphery with the ability to inspire change and growth in aki in the same way ugetsu choked it out.
strangled love is still airless, after all.
maybe the only give ugetsu offers these days is when he comes apart under akihiko, the way he gasps his name: aki, aki, i -. he can never finish that sentence. it would be mutated beyond recognition regardless of the words wouldn't it? but the way ugetsu unravels under him is hot and open and demanding, is the fingertip touch on the back of aki's neck that curls and guides him to press his mouth to where he will undoubtedly feel ugetsu's pulse too fast in his throat, the threshold of panic: don't leave don't leave don't leave.
leave.
liquid heat and a song that's never quite right, ugetsu sighs beneath him and angles his mouth to aki's ear, takes it between his teeth and hums. it's as good as permission for him to keep going until he's satisfied too, but even saying 'go ahead' is beyond ugetsu right now, his breaths still uneven and a bit too fast, trying to be a little less obsessed and failing every time. ]
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t h e y !!!!!!
yet even that way, ugetsu wants it.
there is a place in him that no one else will ever touch. he's known it for years; he's known it all along.
he'll never say it of course.
instead he clings and claws into akihiko with his fingernails, with his kisses more teeth than anything else, with the persona of his own laughter that takes the place of more vulnerable things he will not permit. the number of people ugetsu has slept with is not insignificant but none of them are aki and so they always end up here. he knows it won't be the same for his first and maybe last love. there is already someone else in the periphery with the ability to inspire change and growth in aki in the same way ugetsu choked it out.
strangled love is still airless, after all.
maybe the only give ugetsu offers these days is when he comes apart under akihiko, the way he gasps his name: aki, aki, i -. he can never finish that sentence. it would be mutated beyond recognition regardless of the words wouldn't it? but the way ugetsu unravels under him is hot and open and demanding, is the fingertip touch on the back of aki's neck that curls and guides him to press his mouth to where he will undoubtedly feel ugetsu's pulse too fast in his throat, the threshold of panic: don't leave don't leave don't leave.
leave.
liquid heat and a song that's never quite right, ugetsu sighs beneath him and angles his mouth to aki's ear, takes it between his teeth and hums. it's as good as permission for him to keep going until he's satisfied too, but even saying 'go ahead' is beyond ugetsu right now, his breaths still uneven and a bit too fast, trying to be a little less obsessed and failing every time. ]