inexpressibly | ❝村田雨月❞

figure of speech. i don't need any scandals right now.

or ever.

You call it a scandal but has anything happened to you yet?

Or ever?

[ idea has his way to make sure the other isn't slandered harshly. ]

not insomuch as it bears worrying, but i figured it couldn't hurt to mention.

Don't worry, I'm old enough to know I shouldn't bring people into my fun.
I just want to see if they're qualified, if they're meaningless to you, then it should be okay.

most of them are. what i don't know and doesn't affect me, that's fine.

[ a few seconds ]

one exception: kaji akihiko. off limits, thank you.

Sending a message that fast afterwards, you must be worried.
I'll think about it as he wasn't really on my mind at the moment.
However, you did remind me.

remind you of what?

That he exists, that's all.
You have so many people that are interested in you.

[ isn't that a good thing! ]

not really.

[ maybe just akihiko. and non-romantically, mafuyu. but other than that most are interested in things about ugetsu, not ugetsu himself. not that he can fault them on that, and he isn't interested anyway. but he can tell the difference without even trying. ]

Is that so? There are people who find your talent quite amazing.

[ if idea lacked the skill, it'd be an essence he'd love to strip away from ugetsu. what spares him is that he's interested in different things that create the man's character, and if one stands out then maybe idea will change his mind.

for now, it's just the very few people he interacts with that idea looks into. ]

The shape of your face, the time it takes for your smile to build. You should take a look into the world a little more, and maybe you will see.

[ idea only does because that's what a limited life span offers him. ]

i don't know that i count the admiration of fans and patrons. if you asked them specifically what they liked, they might be hard-pressed to tell you.

[ the comment on his face does earn a sort of dry humor on ugetsu's side of things. it says a lot he's messaging this much, given how much he hates cellphones. but his layover is extensive and there's nowhere he's allowed to practice, so... ]

my world is here.

[ the violin case currently resting on his lap though he's not going to explain that. ]

There could be something deeper, but that's not my place to look into.

[ nor does he care, but if they want to talk about the shallow interests of people who learn about ugetsu, then they can do that. ]

Are you the only resident or is there more people in your world?

[ people have a different view on what makes their world, and it's conversations like this that tend to be interesting. ]

a few.

[ it seems pointless to restate akihiko's name, and he's not got any reason to cite mafuyu specifically. if he tries to think of anyone else, well, he can't. oops. so not "a few". a couple. oh well. ]

I see. Very well.

[ a few, and yet akihiko is the only one who is apparently off-limits, idea files away that he'll get a more in-depth understanding of those around him through a report.

he likes him enough so there's no reason to shake up his world just yet. ]

Come out of your world sometimes so I can see you.

if you want a seat at my next performance, it's easily done.

[ aside from that, ugetsu sees no reason to offer anything else. "out" of his world? the stage. his basement apartment. the sometimes-apartment in new york. he's not even sure he'd count the latter, yet.

he's not sure why hagiwara has enough interest to converse, but if he wants to see him in-person, post concerto is opportunity enough. ]

A world-renowned professional player allowing me free entry? Who knew there was still kindness in that world of yours.

[ idea tries to keep himself from laughing, but he'll accept what's given considering it would probably be entertaining enough. he'll leave renge to do the work and make sure that all the testing in the facility goes correctly. ]

Thank you.

[ he has manners. ]

Or am I getting ahead of myself. Is there something you want?

nothing comes to mind.

i have an allotted number of tickets for each performance, so it's not as though i had to go to any extra trouble for it.

[ which isn't to say he wouldn't try to collect later, if something did occur to him, but he doubts it will. there simply isn't anything he can think of wanting that hagiwara could offer.

the fact that he would not call it kindness hardly needs to be said. ]

I'll make sure my presence is there, then.

[ what that means is pretty vague, but the working mind of idea is an interesting thing, there's so much to do and to be done in a specific way. ]

Is there a reason I can only see you after your performance?

[ he'd ask if this is his way to calm himself, or maybe find comfort before having to deal with others... but he'll keep his thoughts to himself. ]

after performances is when i know i'll have some time, though it's often promised away in advance twice over if i'm not careful.

[ that, and he would never arrange a meeting before a performance, not wanting anything to interfere.

but it's true that his time is vied for usually, once he's already in the open after being on stage. there are politics that come with being murata ugetsu, though he handles them as little as possible. ]

What a busy man you are.

[ amazing when idea has so much time to do whatever he wants, but it's not like ugetsu is given the same luxury as him. there's no lackeys beneath him that handles all his problems, vice-presidents to pick up what he sets down, and his own hard-working dog that does everything he says completely. ]

I'd suggest you take the next month off, I'm sure you can make that possible.

that would require a lot of cancelled performances.

[ which is the same as saying "no it's not possible" or at least ugetsu isn't willing to do it. he's not attached to the limelight itself but it goes hand in hand with his luxury of pursuing music. if he doesn't have this, there will be nothing, and for all the hours he spends practicing in his soundproofed basement apartment, it's not the same. it doesn't reach anyone here, the convoluted mess of things overwhelmingly big and terrible and beautiful. music reaches further than one thinks but it has to be in a place it has the chance to do so. ]

We're going.

[ there's no ifs, ands, buts or nos about it as idea decides for both of them. this is what knowing someone from a criminal organization will get him: in situations that he wouldn't want.

because the pieces that make ugetsu are carefully wrapped in the world he's made for himself with its limited people and interactions, idea must see how he fares outside of all of that.

he's so curious, it can't be helped. ]

If you're unable to cancel them, I can.
I'm sending someone to handle everything.

[ doesn't idea work so hard for him. ]

[ . . . between having acquaintances in criminal organizations and a father who's a prominent diplomat, ugetsu feels he could do with less of both when these sorts of situations crop up. at the same time, he's curious despite not wanting to be. the cancelled performances don't bother him in terms of expectations un-met, but rather that sometimes they draw out of him a new kind of sound. hm. ]

even if you cancel them, why would i go? where, even?

[ unconsciously his head sinks deeper into the scarf thickly circled around his neck, eyes low-lidded. it's not even his scarf, but breaking up with one's first love doesn't mean letting go. ]

You ask so many questions.

[ idea laughs at this noticing the other's willingness or could it even be called that? it's the "if" but there's not really an "if" it's more so a command that will be done. one individual feels encouraged to see this out for as long as idea focuses on something else that isn't his private work, then the happier they are. ]

I'm thinking a private island with clear waters. I'm not finalized on the choice.

[ there are some places known for their museums, but the issue here is idea's weak body so there's only so much he can offer.

his choice would revolve around one where he offers little energy. ]

and if my answer is still declination?

[ another question. for fun.

but also, ugetsu rarely encounters anyone who dares actually demand anything of him, much less command. his ex is a different matter and the power dynamics in bed are never translated outside, for better or for worse. which means it's intriguing in its own weird way.

or is he just restless?

if he were to agree it wouldn't matter to him where as long as he can bring his violin. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject